我们最亲爱的英语老师Miss许这几天都不在，我们的心情也跟着起起伏伏。
第一阶段：疑惑、开心。这一节课是英语课，但是过了好久Miss许也没有来，同学们感到很奇怪，以前Miss许上课铃一响就进来了，但大家翘首以盼，眼巴巴望着门口，过了好久也没见到Miss许，而是数学老师进来了。虽然大家有点失望，但老师们互相换课是常有的事，我们也没往心里去。但是一整天过去了，Miss许都没出现，我们也没上一节英语课，大家开始小声交流了，“怎么回事？今天怎么没见到Miss许？难道她又生病了？”“今天没有英语课，没有英语作业！哈哈哈哈哈……”虽然一整天没有见到Miss许，但是一想到没有作业，大家都欢呼雀跃，教室里成了一片欢乐的海洋，没有人再去纠结Miss许为什么没来了，反正明天也会见到的，到时候再问她！
第二阶段：震惊，兴奋。隔天英语课，我们正大声朗读，边读边等待Miss许给我们上课，结果我们又失望了，这次走进来的是语文老师。我们七嘴八舌地问林老师，“Miss许怎么了？”“我们什么时候上英语课？”林老师神秘一笑，让我们坐好，她要拍一个小视频，我们正奇怪呢，林老师说：“许老师这几天没来，是因为许老师去结婚了！”话音刚落，全班顿时炸开了锅，大家欢呼呐喊，那场面比放假还激动，我们都很为Miss许开心！“来，我数123，大家一起说，祝Miss许新婚快乐！”我们整齐又响亮的祝福声震耳欲聋，差点没把房顶给掀了！我们真为Miss许高兴呀！同时，也有点想念她了，Miss许到底什么时候回来呢？
第三阶段：着急，无奈。一连好几天，我们都没上过英语课，大家渐渐有些着急了，“我们班落下了很多课啊！别的班都要教完一个单元了，我们才教了单词而已！”好几天没写英语作业，最难过的要属英语组长了，每天早上看着其他组长收作业，英语组长们显得非常清闲，甚至有组长开始呐喊：“啊！我想收作业啊！我恨不得收尽天下英语作业！”简直令人哭笑不得！
第四阶段：期待，失望。就这样又过了一天，数学林老师说：“下一节课上英语，把英语书都拿出来。”老师刚说完，同学们都展开笑脸，内心很是期待，我们都觉得是Miss许回来了，结果又让我们失望了，走进来的是一班的辛老师，虽然辛老师的英语课也很有趣，但是我们还是想让我们的Miss许回来上课。
Miss许不在的这几天，我们都很想她，多希望她能早点回来给我们上课！
（作者是广东省汕头市金平区私立广厦学校五年级学生）
后 记
Miss许回来以后还请我们全班吃了喜糖，我们可开心了！
同学感言
Miss许不在这几天我们很不习惯，简直可以用悲喜交加来形容了。
教师赏析
英语老师不在的短短几天，对孩子们来说却好像过了很漫长的时间，平时天天和老师待在一起，突然有好几天老师不在，孩子们从一开始的困惑、兴奋到后来的着急、思念、失望，心情可谓是起起伏伏，心情百变，这样的真情流露才是真正的生活之作。（林初阳）
1、Well, today we tried masturbating for money.
嗯，今天我们尝试手淫是为了钱。
2、Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.
是的，它告诉我们，你参与的群众文化有个错觉，以为太阳的视位置相对于任意星座的定义你的出生，在某种程度上影响你的人格。
3、You did not “break up” with Joyce Kim. She defected to North Korea.
你没有与乔伊斯·金“分手”。她叛逃到北韩。
4、Ah gravity, thou are a heartless bitch.
啊，地心引力，你是一个无情无义的婊子。
5、Explain to me an organizational system where a tray of flatware on a couch is valid. I'm just inferring that this is a couch, because the evidence suggests the coffee table is having a tiny garage sale.
向我解释一个组织系统，在那里一盘扁平餐具在沙发上是有效的。我只是推测，这是一个沙发，因为有证据表明咖啡桌上有一个小车库出售。
6、I am truly sorry for what happened last night. I take full responsibility and I hope it won't color your opinion of Leonard, who is not only a wonderful guy but also, I hear, a gentle and thorough lover.
我真的对昨晚发生的事情感到抱歉。我承担所有的责任，我希望它不会影响你对伦纳德的看法，他不仅是一个好男人，而且我听说，一个温柔而周密的爱人。
7、At least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so that you don't crash into geek mountain again.
只是你现在还能从燃烧的废墟里找回装满对她美妙幻想的黑匣子，（经典语录 www.lz13.cn）好好分析下数据你就不会再坠入“呆子谷”。
8、I think that you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble Telescope does of discovering at the center of every black hole is little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.
听着，我认为你能跟Penny做爱的几率跟哈勃太空望远镜发现在每个黑洞中央都有个小人在用闪光灯寻找断路器的几率一样大。
9、There's always the possibility that alcohol and poor judgment on her part might lead to a nice romantic evening.
酒精加上她一时糊涂总有可能让今晚成为浪漫之夜。
10、There wouldn't have been any ass kickings if that stupid death ray had worked.
如果那该死的死亡放射线能用我就不会挨打了。
11、I thought she was a highly evolved creature of pure intellect, like me. But recent events indicate that she may be a slave to her baser urges.
我以为她是个高度进化的纯高智商物种，就像我。而最近的事件表明她也许不过是个屈服于低级欲望的生物。
12、If the correct way to do it is the wrong way, then I yield.
如果胡来才是正确的方法的话，那我闭嘴。
13、Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
谢耳朵：剪刀剪纸，纸包石头，石头砸蜥蜴，蜥蜴毒死斯巴克，斯巴克击碎剪刀，剪刀砍断蜥蜴，蜥蜴吃了纸，纸反驳斯巴克，斯巴克蒸发石头，最后就是一直都那样的，石头硌坏剪子。
14、Howard is teaching Sheldon Chinese.
Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.
霍华德：话说，你终于要学普通话了我还真高兴。
谢耳朵：为嘛？
霍华德：等你说顺溜了，有十多亿中国人民等着你去烦，你就不用来烦我了。
One Satursday morning, Li Ming and his grandpa were feeding the bird in the cage. The bird was unhappy though it had enough feed and water, Li Ming did not know why. The next morning on his way to Li Ming saw some birds flying in the sky. Then be thought of the lonely bird in ghe cage, He decided to permade his grandpa to set the bird free.When he got home, he said to his grandp,“Birds are friends!” To his delight, his grandpa agreed. TheThe bird was set free. Grandpa and the children were very happy to see the bird flying away into the sky.