One bright, frozen December morning, an old African-American woman was in the pinewoods. Her name was Phoenix Jackson. She was heading for the city. Her grandson needed medicine. Along she went goes in with her dark, striped dress. She also wore an apron equally long, as the dress. When Phoenix walked, her shoe laces trip her over. It was a long and tough trip without anyone to accompany her. The yellinged wind and the wild animals did not stop Phoenix. She encouraged herself that she was old enough and nothing could scared her.
The woods were still and silent so she kept walking. Soon the path led her to a hill. “My legs are as tired as if someone chained up my feet!” Old Phoenix complained. She had to drag herself down the hill, but before she got down the hill…a bush caught her dress！Each time Phoenix got the dress out another part got caught. “Thorny bush,” Phoenix warned. “I thought you were little pretty, green bushes. Let my dress go”, she scolded. She pulled and pulled her dress and finally it got out. She kept walking and she passed old cotton and into the dead corn field. Suddenly, she saw something moving near. She saw it was a man but it was a scarecrow. On she went, and then she saw a dog lolling his tongue. As she walked, a white man found her.
“Well, hello Granny”, he welcomed.
“What are you doing this far?”
“Are you going home?”
No, sir. I am going to the city.”
“What? That’s too far.”
“No, I must go. Thank you!”
And she started walking again. Soon Phoenix arrived at the city. She went into the big building and began to climb up the stairs.
“Here I am,” said Phoenix.
“Hello, what is your name?” asked the attendant. Phoenix did not reply.
“Oh, that’s just old aunt Phoenix,” replied the nurse suddenly.
“Now how is your grandson?” questioned the nurse. Still Phoenix didn’t reply.
“Is his throat any better?” asked the nurse.
“Is he died?” asked nurse loudly for sure so Phoenix can hear.
Finally, the old Phoenix said: “No, he is not dead. He just needs some medicine. Finally, the old Phoenix said: “No, he is not dead. He just needs some medicine.”
The nurse gave the old woman the medicine. As she walked out, the attendant gave him a nickel as a Christmas gift.
“This is what I need”, she muttered looking at the coin.
She was off to buy a windmill made out of papers.
“My child will love this. My grandson has never seen this before. He will be so surprise”, Phoenix whispered.
She walked further into the city until she found the shop, which sold windmills.
“Hello, what do you want?” asked the woman.
“A windmill”, answered Phoenix simply.
She gave the nickels to the woman.
“Merry Christmas”, called the woman.
And Phoenix strode all the way back home.
A+
A remarkably good narrative. Well done!
Cheers
Fran
A Worn Path
一条坑洼的道路
十二月一个明亮、冰冻的早晨，一位非洲裔美国老妇人在松树林里。她的名字叫菲尼克斯•杰克逊。她正朝着这个城市走去。她的孙子需要药物。她穿着深色条纹连衣裙且还围了一条和裙子一样长的围裙走在了松树林里。当菲尼克斯走路时，她的鞋带绊倒了她。这是一次漫长而艰难的旅行，没有人陪伴她。咆哮的风和野生动物并没有阻止菲尼克斯。她鼓励自己，她已经足够老了，没有什么能吓到她。
树林里一片寂静，寂静无声，所以她继续走着。不久，小路把她带到了一座小山上。“我的腿很累，好像有人把我的脚绑起来了一样！”菲尼克斯抱怨道。她不得不把自己拖下山，但在她下山之前......灌木丛抓住了她的衣服！每次菲尼克斯把裙子拿出来时，另一个部分又被抓住了。“荆棘丛，”菲尼克斯警告说。“我以为你很漂亮，绿色的灌木丛。把我的衣服弄开吧，“她骂道。她拉了又拉，终于解脱了出来。她继续走着，她经过旧棉花地，又进入了一块已经死了的玉米地。突然，她看到有什么东西在靠近。她看到那是一个男人，但那是一个稻草人。她走了，然后她看到一只狗在舔舌头。当她走路时，一个白人男子找到了她。
“嗯，你好，奶奶”，他欢迎道。“到目前为止，你在做什么？” “你要回家吗？”没有,先生。我要去城里。“什么？这太远了。“不，我必须走。谢谢！她又开始走路了。不久，菲尼克斯来到了这座城市。她走进大楼，开始爬上楼梯。“我在这里，”菲尼克斯说。“你好，你叫什么名字？”服务员问。菲尼克斯没有回复。“哦，那是菲尼克斯阿姨，”护士突然回答。“现在你的孙子怎么样了？”护士问道。菲尼克斯仍然没有回复。“他的喉咙好些了吗？”护士问。 “他死了吗？”护士大声问道，这样菲尼克斯才能听到。
最后，菲尼克斯说：“不，他没有死。他只是需要一些药物。护士把药给了老妇人。当她走出去时，服务员给了他一枚钱币作为圣诞礼物。“这就是我需要的，”她看着硬币喃喃自语。她要去买一个用纸做的风车。“我的孩子会喜欢这个。我的孙子以前从未见过这个。他会很惊讶的，“菲尼克斯低声说。她进一步走进了城市，直到她找到了卖风车的商店。“你好，你想要什么？”女人问。“风车”，菲尼克斯简单地回答。她把镍币给了那个女人。“圣诞快乐”，那个女人说。菲尼克斯一路大步走回家。
老师评论A +
一个非常好的叙事。干的好！